~shantel marie williams~

Monday, January 24, 2011

crazy thought.

So its crazy how you realize some things... for example: usually i have to charge my phone every night because i text people all day everyday that it just wastes my battery! but... now here is the crazy thing, it is not a bunch of people i text its just ONE person that i text so much that it wastes my battery. haha. The reason i have realized that is because he is out of town right now, he is over traveling in europe for two weeks and so we don't get to text or talk and guess what??? i have gone 3 days with the same battery!

Do you think i rather go 3 days with one battery though or go all day everyday texting? Well if you know me well enough i am totally gonna choose the texting. I absolutely enjoy and love texting him and when i don't well it sucks!!! just like it does right now i just sit and miss him haha. lame of me i know, but oh well what can you do?

Well that is my crazy thought of the day. haha :)))

Thursday, January 20, 2011

late night drives..... to provo*

So last night i drove down to provo to hangout with a friend Kory, he was leaving for london and like 6 other places today so we thought it would be fun to hangout before he left. Everyone has to know that me and driving at night do not work out together very well.. i tend to fall asleep at the wheel very easily, but luckily i did just fine! I was going 90 mph driving down.... that could be bad if something were to happen though!

Well when i got there i actually meet Kory at his brother and sister-in-laws because i told his brother i would give him a haircut. To be honest i am so proud of myself for remembering how to even get to their place all on my own! yeah impressive i know!! :) Well i reached their house before Kory so i just went down and hung out with his brother and his wife till Kory got there! They are so funny i absolutely love hanging out and talking with them. We finally left there about 12:30ish?? But when we got back to his place we did not even get like any sleep... We drove around for no joke like 20 minutes trying to find a place to even park my car, it was a total nightmare there and finding a spot!! (p.s. if you ever go there remember to get there EXTREMELY EARLY. haha. )

We finally just parked in the garage. That is normally mikey's spot but apparently Kory didn't care to much and just parked my car there anyways.. sorry mikey!!! We go down to Kory's domain and we got ready for bed, but of course it always seems to happen you seem soooo tired until you hit the bed and you somehow end up wide a wake and cannot sleep whatsoever! does that ever happen to you?
 Well of course just my luck... it happened to me, but i really needed the sleep we had to get up early so that Kory and Mikey could get everything together and double check that they had everything and on top of that we had errands to run.

so if you guys didn't know this i will now tell you so you do know...... Kory is the scariest driver ever! always speeding and just crazy so i made him drive this morning to run the errands and to the airport so that i knew we would make it there on time..... BAD idea! i think i may have tinkled my pants with his driving! The thing that matters most is that they got their on time and are now on their way to LONDON! I am quite jealous but hopefully they have a great time and stay safe! :))

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

girls day!!!! 1/18/11

Don't you just love girls days with your mom???? I know i do! :)) thought she may not be here with me physically i know in my heart she is with me and i know that when i talk to her she is there listening! I have been really pondering and thinking so much lately.. just one of those days when all you do is sit around the house and can't help but to think. Well i really got to thinking how could someone really ask you to just forget about a loved one as if they were never there?

I get that they are not here on this earth anymore but as for me it of course is my mother i am talking about, the lady who birthed me, who gave me everything i ever wanted to just make sure i was happy!!! Never did she care about herself! It was always about us kids, her most valuable treasures. And in return we are suppose to just forget her and move on? i think not! That woman was my rock and i had the most amazing day with her! i took my puppies titleist and jasmine over to meet mommy for the first time, and i let them just run around while i sat and had a nice conversation with mom! Though she cannot reply back i always feel so much better after i talk to her! She really is the best listener ever!!

I  sat and talked to her about all my problems with everything in my life that has been going on! Also i put up some new flowers i put in some valentine one's! :)) she is totally gonna be my valentine beings i don't have an actual valentine! oh well..... one day! huh mom!?!? :)) (if you was wondering her and i talked about me finding that one true love and being happy!) she just wants the best for me!!! thanks mom! After hanging out with mom i went out with my friend kersten and we just sat at her place and took silly pictures. Typical girls right? always gotta be taken some pictures of us. haha. She is an amazing friend and i couldn't thank her enough for her friendship and always being there for me. We can tell one another anything and be fully honest with one another and know that even if it hurts its for the best! :))) love you girl!!!

Other than that my day was great! just trying to be happy and enjoy my life day to day and see what new adventures may come my way, or even what trials may come my way. Whatever it is that comes my way i am ready to face it and have a smile on my face!!

Monday, January 17, 2011

1/6/11-1/17/11

jan 7-8th- wow.... i really suck at keeping up on my blog! i say i will get better but i don't seem to get better whatsoever!! haha. Anyways there really has not been much going on in my life just the usual work, sit home, and hangout! the weekend of the 7th and eight i really did not do much i went up to provo and hungout with a friend and what not!
Jan 11th i had my first church ball game and i had an old friend text me asking me out on a date, told him that i had a game so he offered to take me to dinner before my game and then come watch my game! He is such a doll and our dinner date was really fun!! we went to applebees and just sat and chit chatted!! my game i did bomb! i scored 16 points!! He was super shocked at my basketball skills! haha.
Jan 12th-15th was a SUPER BUSY week! i had work everyday and i never usually do so i got slammed there but it was great to get some mulahhhhhh :) everyone has got to love the money right??? but i think the highlights of my work week were i had a 10 year old boy, bless his heart!! he has been dealing with brain tumors and cancer and had all these scars on his head and neck from surgeries :( but wow to see the smile on his face and know that he fights for his life just makes me feel so blessed and i hope he fights till its gone! Anyways i was cutting his hair and he says: excuse me could you stop for a second! so i replied and said yeah are you ok??? and his reply was yes i am fine but i need to fart and lift my leg and did not want to risk getting cut! HAHAHAHAHA so cute!
The other experience i had was on saturday this guy comes in so as a stylist you have to make small talk with them while cutting their hair. well i simply asked him if he had any fun plans for the night he had said no. i said why not? its a saturday you gotta do something. he replied saying yeah i am gonna go get drunk my girlfriend and i got in a fight and she threw at me that i was gonna be a dad!!! poor man! im sure he'll be a great daddy though!!! After work i went out with my girl kersten and some of her girlfriends! we hit up a party out in the sugar house.... totally not fun! guess i am just done with partyin i cleaned up my act and not into any of that anymore! well, the cops showed up and so i decided to go out and start a convo with them haha they were more fun than the party! sad.. FINALLY colton called kersten and we darted over to his friend jason's house and hung out with colton and his friends! we played kinect on the xbox! love that game so freaking fun!!! Though the night for kerst didn't end to well i love her to death and she is my best friend!! i'll be there for her at any time!!! :)))) forever and always!
Jan 16th- I went to church and i had kersten and her sister come along with my friends and i. They are thinking about coming to my ward and getting their records transfered! :) that would be simply amazing! In sacrament we were sooooo disrespectful and rude and i feel so bad about it now! We sat next to tyson and he and Steve started texting back and forth and it was bad! but of course we laughed and talked the entire sacrament!! :((( i feel horrible now! Well after sacrament i talked to my bishop for a bit and set up an appointment to go talk with him and get things figured out and talked about. :))) i cannot wait to go in and talk to him and feel good about myself!
today- i sat home all day!!!!!!!! and LOVED every minute of it! i have not felt so hot today so i just sat in bed and then sat in the shower for two hours just soaking up the hot water! nothing better than that!! :)) also talked to my cousin and set up a double date with one of my best friends and his best friends! wooo i am quite excited about! should be pretty fun! or lets hope! ha. Also i talked to my friend about him moving and i am gonna head up to see his new place. Guess we'll see how good the place is...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

hardest day of the year. 1/5/07

Today the most important lady in my life passed away due to a cancerous brain tumor. She fought this cancer for almost a year and she is my hero, my inspiration, my world, most of all she was MY MOM! I don't even know how to explain my feelings about all of this! But i do know that i am so proud of her and miss her dearly! I know she did not want to leave her family because we meant the world to her.

It all started when one day mom and i were driving to an orthodontist appointment and she ran a stop sign. I look at her and say "mom you just ran that stop sign." her reply was: "no i didn't shan, if i saw it i would stop." so i just ignored it and let it go. Well we come up to another stop sign and once again she runs it. So i turn to my mom again and say the same thing! We come home and i go to my father and tell him, right then he was worried and took her to the doctor and of course like every time you go to the doctor he says: she is fine i see nothing wrong. Well as time went on her eye sight was getting worse and worse so daddy takes her to the eye doctor to find that she has a tumor on the brain. It was something no one wants to hear about a loved one! My father calls a specialist and gets my mom into the doctor to get an mri and all that fun stuff. We found out that mom had a cancerous brain tumor that was a level 5 and is on her brain stem. So my dad had to make the biggest decision of his life! Do we cut out the tumor and make mom live as a vegetable the rest of her life? or do we do chemo and radiation to see if it reduces the tumor and keep her around for a bit longer? Well we decided the best thing is to do chemo and radiation! We did not want mom to have to go through life with not being able to do nothing but just sit in a wheel chair or in bed all day every day not able to talk or anything. That is not a life to live! Well mom started chemo and she was in the hospital most of the time so we spent alot of time in the hospital as well. But i tell you what she fought and she fought HARD! The one thing she wanted to do was go back to work and earn money so her family would be safe! That is the best mom i could ever think of! It was so hard for me as a daughter to watch my best friend and mom to go through this and to see her struggle so much! Also it was so hard for me to know that my mother didn't know who i was. Her one and only daughter and she couldn't remember my name but i knew deep down she really knew who i was. Anytime i was there the one thing she would ask me was if i would do her hair to make her beautiful. My response was "you are always beautiful mom!"

 Our last christmas with mom was the most wonderful and amazing christmas EVER! to be able to spend it with her was a blessing for me! We had our ward come to our front windows and they sang carols to my mom as she sat in the room staring out the window sitting in her wheel chair teary eye, wow it was the most touching moment i had ever experienced!!! If you have ever seen the show the christmas shoes, there is a part in there at the end where they sing carols and when i watch that show it just brings back that memory to me and its such a comforting feeling!!!

 January 5th, 2007 comes and i am sitting in seminary waiting for class to start when i get a call from my dad saying "you need to come home, mom is fading fast!!" i instantly started bawling. What would you do if you got a call and its your dad saying your mom is dying and fast??? Its not something you want to hear! So i rush home to my family and we were all gathered in my parents room we did a family prayer and spent our last couple minutes with our mother, when all the sudden she pointed to the ceiling and says: " there is heavenly father and my mom, they want me to go with them!!" we all started bawling and just were not ready for this to happen but knew it had to we could not let her sit and suffer any longer!! What kind of family would we be?? My dad says "honey you can leave us now, we will be ok don't you worry about us!" Mom took one last breath and was gone! i know that god has a plan for all of us and we agreed to this before coming to this earth and i know she walks in heaven with him as we speak and that she is watching over me! i just want her to know that i am so grateful for her love and support she has for me and that i hope i am that daughter that makes her so proud and i know i mess up and i just hope she can forgive me and know that i still love her and want to be the best that i can be to be with her again someday!!! you are in my thoughts every day mom! there is not one day that goes by that i don't think about you!!! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND ALWAYS WILL!!

"the best way to have heaven in your home,
is to have someone you love in heaven!!"
R.I.P. 1/5/2007

thanks to all those who have supported me today and have treated me so amazingly its always the hardest day to sit and think of the loved one you have lost! Today i got the prettiest flowers from the most amazing guy and it really made my day and thank him sincerely cause they are extremely beautiful and i absolutely love them!!! i sure am lucky to have the people in my life that i do!!!

wow time seems to fly by. so lets catch up!

christmas: christmas was really interesting i have to say! christmas is family time and the time you want to be with your family sharing this wonderful birth of our savior. Well my dad asked us kids one thing and only one thing for christmas dinner and that was to interact with his girlfriends family and to make them feel welcomed and to try and be one big family because they are planning on getting married! So we of course want him happy and did exactly that. It is not ok though that her family does not do the same and actually its not ok to kick my family downstairs and leave us out of activities and not talk to us... really? no i do not think so. Christmas was really hard this year and it was really hard for me to try and be happy for it because i really was not. We felt left out and that they could care less about us and us being there with them! there is something wrong with that picture.. is there not? but anyways its over with now and just gotta look forward to next christmas and hope that it can be better!!! :) well the next day i was suppose to head out to virginia to be with kory and his family but my flight was cancelled so i had to wait for the next day to fly out! seemed like a week but don't worry i got there!! :) haha.

new years: BEST NEW YEARS EVER!!! i got to spend new years in virginia with one of the coolest families ever and with the best guy! It was also one of the best vacations i went on to go out there! We did not do to much, and that is ok cause i still had the time of my life! haha funny i write that, the song i am listening to just said those exact words!.. Anyways we mostly sat at the house playing games, watching movies and watching the boys play call of duty.  I have to admit it is pretty darn funny to watch them boys play that game, they get soooooooo upset and angry with that game so all i can do is just giggle! well thursday was the day we went out! Kourtney, Kory's sister was getting her endowments taken out so the whole family got to go and experience that with her! as for Kameron, Korinne, and I we were not able to go into the temple so we went to maryland with Kory's brother in law Dallas and walked around and got some food it was really cool to go there though it was not for long but i now can say i have been to Maryland right??? :) here is a pic of an ice rink in the middle of some shopping areas. 
The night of new years... We all sat around playing games and watching movies waiting for midnight to roll around. As it came upon midnight we all gathered around in the kitchen and drank some juice that his mom and dad hand made and it was simply amazing!!! then of course we started counting down and finally it was 2011 WOOOOOOOOHOOOOO! new year, new goals, and new beginning to make it better and to find new adventures! Kory and i went and sat on the couch and then got our kiss in! :) it was a great night i could not have asked for any better new years!!

last day in virginia: it was saturday and i wanted to go to a park and get pictures so kory and i drove around and he had no idea where a park was so instead we just went to the play grounds at the elementary school, that can count as a park right??? i think yes. :) haha. but it was such a fun time, it totally took me back to the good old days of elementary and the fun things we use to do on the play ground. like tie a jacket around your waist and spin around the bars!! hahaha great times. then kissing kory on the slide. haha kinda like how you use to play kissing tag on the toys? anyone else do that? or just me?? hmmm... haha well he is my favorite picture!!
ok so saturday was not our last day but it was our last day to go out and do things because sunday is the sabbath and we don't do anything but lounge around, eat and just be lazy! Oh and go to church! I had one of the best lessons ever in relief society the teacher was soooo funny and enthusiastic! If that was how it was every sunday for me i would freaking love going! :):). well monday came around and it was time to go home, Kory left really early in the morning about 4 am. I did not leave till about 1 pm, so him and i said our see you laters sunday night! because we didn't have to say good-bye because we will see one another here! haha. but any ways monday was the worst day ever! I got to the air port about noon flew to Cincinnati Ohio and i had a layover for 4 hours. it was the longest time of my life and went by extremely slow! About 7 rolls around and i finally got to board the plane and didn't get to salt lake city till almost 9:30 or ten! ugh. It was so nice to finally get home and get into bed! But all together my new years and my vacation was the most amazing and fun experience ever and i had a blast meeting Kory's family and to be able to hangout with all of them!!!