It all started when one day mom and i were driving to an orthodontist appointment and she ran a stop sign. I look at her and say "mom you just ran that stop sign." her reply was: "no i didn't shan, if i saw it i would stop." so i just ignored it and let it go. Well we come up to another stop sign and once again she runs it. So i turn to my mom again and say the same thing! We come home and i go to my father and tell him, right then he was worried and took her to the doctor and of course like every time you go to the doctor he says: she is fine i see nothing wrong. Well as time went on her eye sight was getting worse and worse so daddy takes her to the eye doctor to find that she has a tumor on the brain. It was something no one wants to hear about a loved one! My father calls a specialist and gets my mom into the doctor to get an mri and all that fun stuff. We found out that mom had a cancerous brain tumor that was a level 5 and is on her brain stem. So my dad had to make the biggest decision of his life! Do we cut out the tumor and make mom live as a vegetable the rest of her life? or do we do chemo and radiation to see if it reduces the tumor and keep her around for a bit longer? Well we decided the best thing is to do chemo and radiation! We did not want mom to have to go through life with not being able to do nothing but just sit in a wheel chair or in bed all day every day not able to talk or anything. That is not a life to live! Well mom started chemo and she was in the hospital most of the time so we spent alot of time in the hospital as well. But i tell you what she fought and she fought HARD! The one thing she wanted to do was go back to work and earn money so her family would be safe! That is the best mom i could ever think of! It was so hard for me as a daughter to watch my best friend and mom to go through this and to see her struggle so much! Also it was so hard for me to know that my mother didn't know who i was. Her one and only daughter and she couldn't remember my name but i knew deep down she really knew who i was. Anytime i was there the one thing she would ask me was if i would do her hair to make her beautiful. My response was "you are always beautiful mom!"
Our last christmas with mom was the most wonderful and amazing christmas EVER! to be able to spend it with her was a blessing for me! We had our ward come to our front windows and they sang carols to my mom as she sat in the room staring out the window sitting in her wheel chair teary eye, wow it was the most touching moment i had ever experienced!!! If you have ever seen the show the christmas shoes, there is a part in there at the end where they sing carols and when i watch that show it just brings back that memory to me and its such a comforting feeling!!!
January 5th, 2007 comes and i am sitting in seminary waiting for class to start when i get a call from my dad saying "you need to come home, mom is fading fast!!" i instantly started bawling. What would you do if you got a call and its your dad saying your mom is dying and fast??? Its not something you want to hear! So i rush home to my family and we were all gathered in my parents room we did a family prayer and spent our last couple minutes with our mother, when all the sudden she pointed to the ceiling and says: " there is heavenly father and my mom, they want me to go with them!!" we all started bawling and just were not ready for this to happen but knew it had to we could not let her sit and suffer any longer!! What kind of family would we be?? My dad says "honey you can leave us now, we will be ok don't you worry about us!" Mom took one last breath and was gone! i know that god has a plan for all of us and we agreed to this before coming to this earth and i know she walks in heaven with him as we speak and that she is watching over me! i just want her to know that i am so grateful for her love and support she has for me and that i hope i am that daughter that makes her so proud and i know i mess up and i just hope she can forgive me and know that i still love her and want to be the best that i can be to be with her again someday!!! you are in my thoughts every day mom! there is not one day that goes by that i don't think about you!!! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND ALWAYS WILL!!
"the best way to have heaven in your home,
is to have someone you love in heaven!!"
R.I.P. 1/5/2007
thanks to all those who have supported me today and have treated me so amazingly its always the hardest day to sit and think of the loved one you have lost! Today i got the prettiest flowers from the most amazing guy and it really made my day and thank him sincerely cause they are extremely beautiful and i absolutely love them!!! i sure am lucky to have the people in my life that i do!!!
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