the simple things in life!*

so this week has been kind of a week that i don't really care to be having, BUT what more can you do?? things happen that you don't want to happen but everything that happens, happens for a reason otherwise they wouldn't right?? haha. As hard as it has been to do what i did, i do not regret it in any way possible, but i do still care about that someone or something the same and always will even if its just as friends!

I have recently met a new friend and that friend has already been there for me to talk, to hug and to cry on! He has listened to all my stories weather it is just a silly stupid story that happened that day or if it was just something i had to get off my chest! The best part is when it is something that is somewhat maybe negative about myself his reply is shanie don't even worry you are gorgeous or you are smart.. just something that is so simple to make me smile and to make me feel so great about myself! I could not ask for a better friend right now than him and really appreciate that he is already so caring!!!

It is just the small things that others can do for one another to change someones life and that is something i have learned, and i hope that i can start helping others by doing that same act of kindness! How simple is it to just give someone a simple compliment to turn a frown upside down? Its not going to waste your breath so go out and change someones attitude, or their mood! You may not know it but they really do appreciate it! I know i do!! so thank you for the friendship we have already gained colton!! :))

Mother like Daughter*

One of the hardest days for me have come and gone just like that!

I don't even know where to start with telling you guys how blessed i was to have the mom i had.. She was my best friend, my life savor, and most of all my MOM!! They always say a child is always more comfortable with their mother and that is because she carried us for 9 months.. she feed us, and loved us from the moment we were in her womb!!

My mother was the most caring and gracious woman anyone could have ever known. She never cared about herself whether it was her needing to eat, or get a new piece of clothing, or needing money. She put everyone else before her to make them happy!! When she found out she had stage 5 cancer she was un affraid, and knew that whatever would happen to her it was gods plan and would tell us kids over and over its going to be ok, i am fighting... not for me, but for you!! And oh goodness let me tell you what... she did fight and she put up an amazing fight that is for sure! She had lost her vision, her memory, and was losing her ability to even speak, but that never stopped her!!!

She ended up fighting for just about a year until one day she just got so weak and was struggling so much the nurse knew that it was her time to go, but mom refused to leave us because we were not wanting her to go anywhere. But as her family we knew it was what was best for mom at the time so that she could find peace and to be able to return to our Heavenly Father and be in a perfect healthy body! So as we knelt down to pray around mom and said our goodbye's we told her it was "OK" to leave us, that we would be able to take care of ourselves she had one last beautiful and amazing breath her on earth and she was gone!!!

Nothing could ever feel more humble to me than when people look at me and say "you look just like your mom, beautiful!" Makes my heart melt and i just get the biggest smile on my face. There is nothing more i would love then to be told that, because i know that i am a rememberance of my mother and that is really special to me!!!

I know she not only loved us kids and our family, but she loved everyone that surrounded her! neighbors, co- workers, and even strangers! She was the most amazing person and i am so blessed that i get to talk about her and know that she is a special soul to me and to many others and all i want for her is happiness and i know that is exactly what she has right now in heaven!!! I LOVE YOU MOM! with all my heart and that'll never change!!!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!!!

BiRtDaY gIrL*

Well those of you who follow me that i just recently had my birthday... So weird knowing i am now 21. I am not legal to buy alcohol! haha. good thing i do not do that stuff though so now days turning 21 is just another day to say i am becoming an old brat! :) ha. So i thought i would just kinda tell you a bit of how my birthday went...

The guy i have been kinda/sorta dating or friend... or whatever.. ha. He drove down Friday morning (my birthday) and spent the whole day with me! it was great!! While he took forever to get here my brother had the day off as well so he ended up taking me out to breakfast at Sill's Cafe, probably the best breakfast place EVER! so great!! Well we got done eating and Kory had still not arrived so my brother and i decided to go out and do some golfing... not the smartest idea beings that we were golfing in 30 mph wind and on top of that it was snowing!!!! But my brother was determined to finish all nine holes so he did. Then we went home!

About the same time we had got home from the golf course Kory had arrived FINALLY!! ha. So from there on out it was never ending of doing something. We went up to the mall and we went shopping and he bought me a super cute purse, which was very much needed i had been telling him that forever ha. My other purse was so out dated it was a bit ridiculous! Well shopping sure wore me out so we came back to my house and watched a movie and took a little snooze.

We woke up and of  course he was hungry.. whats new though that boy is an eating machine but yet cannot gain a pound off it! poor thing! haha. So i called up my brother and sister in law and asked them if they wanted to meet up with us for dinner and go to goodwood, (that was an interesting dinner date that is for sure, of course it was me who made it awkward with my stupid questions.) but it was still a blast to be able to spend time with my brother and sister!!

Later we wanted to do some mini golfing and desert or something but were still so full from dinner so once again we came back to my place and watched another movie and dosed off. And after we were ready to go we hit up some mini golfing and of  course I DOMINATED! :/// haha. i gotta make myself look good sometimes right? and what better than to make it on my birthday! :)) we came home after mini golfing and just stayed the rest of the night inside watching movies and then went to bed!

We woke up saturday morning and went golfing with my family! IT WAS SUCH A BLAST!! i loved spending time with my family and kory! My dad wanted to make things interesting so we were starting the back 9 and he wanted to take on zach, jordan, kory, and i against him in a game! Of course he had some bad shots got pissed off and ended up losing and having to buy all of us costa vida! and it was bomb!! Still though my favorite was just getting to spend time with the ones who i care and love most!!!

Thanks for the best birthday a girl could ask for it was great!!!!

'FORE'

So this past weekend i have done a ton of golfing and practicing to prepare for this summer when i will be able to get all mobility back and get back to my normal self which is a pro golfer of course! haha. jk. But let me just take you back to friday when i went actual golfing for the first time.


Friday a friend and I decided we would go hit up the course out here in syracuse and play 9. Well lets just say him and i both struggled big time on the very first hole. Pretty sure we both hit like six balls off the TEE ha. As we got to the third hole we both had finally gotten our 'swag' back and were hitting the ball a bit better. Well we round to the 12th whole Kory bombs a ball right into water/crap, but his second shot was pretty far right but still a good shot. I go up to hit the ball and NAIL a freaking house! not just hitting it into the yard or anything like that but  hit the house you could hear it loud and clear.
Well of course it being my luck Kory's ball was laying right outside the yard of the house i had just hit, so we pull to his ball and i look over and sure enough the woman who owned the house comes walking out and just stands there for a few minutes watching kory and I as he is hitting his ball, i thought for sure she was going to say something.... but instead she just scanned her house to make sure nothing was broke and walked back inside. Needless to say i played like poop on friday and Kory is never going to let that down.


Saturday/sunday i did so much better with these irons. I guess i should have told you earlier that another thing is, i played with irons for the first time friday as well so i did not really know how to hit them very well, but i have been working with them and i am pretty sure i am figuring them out to where i can get my 'swag' back on and dominate the course!!! Also i challenged Kory and his brother to a scramble against my brother and I. My bro and I went and played 9 on sunday doing a scramble and ended up shooting a 37. though we should have done better! oh well. 


Today i went out to the course around 4 to hit some range balls and practice more on those irons and also on my chipping and putting. And let me tell you what... today has for sure been my best day by far! i was crushing the ball and it felt so great!!! Now its time to rematch Kory and show him how good i really am. I let him feel good enough about himself last round so no more of that. Time to put him to shame. haha.

Life's hidden lessons.

Have you ever had so much running through your mind??  possibly the thought: where will you be in 5 years? will you be married just yet? if so do you think you will have kids? possibly traveling with your spouse? or even just living happily in your cute little apartment  trying to go to school to get a good education to even start doing any of that? Well none of those are quite yet me.. but the 5 year plan is what i think about all the time? will any of that be me in that time? well I SURE HOPE SO! 


I often catch myself thinking what does god have in store for me? here is a quote i found on lds.org and it seriously is so true and amazing!!! 

"Our hope and happiness lie in knowing who we are, where we came from, and where we can go. We are eternal beings, spirit children of an eternal God. God has had a plan for our lives since the beginning of the first act—a plan that, if followed, provides comfort and guidance now, as well as salvation and eternal happiness in our postmortal life.

Understanding the following can help us live a happier life now and in eternity."

We all sit and wonder to ourselves what is going to happen next, but we should not have to sit and worry where we will be or where we will go. The lord has a plan for us and we knew it in our pre-mortal life, and we agreed to it. So it is our time to live our lives to the fullest and enjoy the ride. Don't ever let money get the best of you, Don't let a broken heart stop you from finding your soul mate-- that one who broke it is obviously not the right one so why do we sit and hurt so much over them?? 

I hate dating just as much as the next person, but its how we find our spouses. I had a chat with a friend just the other night and its kinda what we talked about and its really had me thinking so much about life!!! And made me come to an understanding that yes god does have a plan for me but i have to stick to the standards our church has provided us, and that we cannot loosen up and give in and be apart of just the "normal" world..  I am still young and in that dating stance, but i know when and if i find that one that god will know and will keep him around for a reason!!! 

So here is what i have done.. i have put together a powerpoint that has everything i am looking for in a future husband, and then i did one where its the goals i have to get there and to accomplish them and to have eternal happiness! these are some of the things i mentioned in the powerpoints i have done. 

future husband

• wants a family and shows love for each and every one of his children
• is going to be able to support me and my family lovingly
• loves the gospel and cherishes it 
• to be sealed for time and eternity
• someone who wants to go monthly visits to do temple work
• has ambition in anything and everything he does
• and last that he is happy and always has a SMILE on his face. 

my goals

• be able to be a loving wife/mother
• make sure my husband and kids are always happy do whatever it takes to support them weather it is in sports, helping with homework, or giving advice
• to be able to cook for them 
• to try not to argue with my husband and/or kids. to talk it out with a smile
• be married for time and eternity to the love of my life 

For now i am just going to live my life and know that everything in the end is going to work out and that one day i will be eternally happy and grateful for everything!! because everything we go through here on earth is one lesson closer to our eternal happiness!! 

BEST DAY EVER!

so today has already been amazing!!! i received an email from theeee cutest missionary ever telling me i will be getting a surprise in the mail today or tomorrow!!! :))))) which that could only mean its a PACKAGE!!! woot woot. 

And on top of that i get to be with his family all evening! i love them so much!! 

...

THEN only 111 days and he is home!!!! eeek. 

NUTS!!!

..

welp that is all just wanted to share my exciting news! :)

i love elder brandley!!

Hayden Steven Williams.

Today i received my first nephew! i have never been so scared, excited, and nervous all mixed into one big emotion! I got a call from my brother saying that they were heading into the hospital because my sister in law was having the worst contractions ever! I arrived at the hospital around 3 PM, and when i got there she was dialated to a 9 and all she needed to get to was 10.

So i am sitting here in this hospital room with my best friend Kersten and my family thinking ok.. she is at a 9 only one more and she starts pushing. Well that takes A LOT longer than you would ever think! It took about two and half to maybe three hours. I do have to admit though... i never knew that waiting in a hospital room could be so much fun! HAHA my bestie and i were just having a grand old time sharing our laughs and just messing around. They had free unlimited pop and suckers... bad idea. I am pretty sure i ate at least 20 suckers!! they were simply DELICOUS! YUM! Best part about the waiting was when the nurse would come in and help out my sister and Kersten's face was just as if she was about to throw up or was scared haha. oh goodness she is gonna end up having like 12 of her own kids one day... just wait. haha.

Finally around 6:30 my sister in law was able to start the labor and about 6:43 we had a new miracle that had joined our family here on this earth!!! :))) he brings so so so much joy to my families, and mines life!! He is going to be so blessed with the most amazing parents ever!!!!

Hayden Steven Williams

6 lbs. 15oz

19 1/2 in. long!! :)))

IM OFFICIALLY AN AUNTIE!!!!

recovery.

Hey bloggers. I figured while i am laying here i would update all of you guys on the surgery and the recovery beings that i am a total slacker and never even let you guys know what is going on and what not with the whole situation. so here it is:

SURGERY:

so i went in for surgery march 1st 2011. As crazy as it sounds i was in the operating room for 7 hours! What had happened is the doctor went through and did the surgery and went back a second time and decided to change some things that he did to make it to his exact perfection, which i thank him for that because i want it to be so perfect that i will be set for life! :) Now what he did in the procedure was he went in and actually cut off half of my hip bone and shaved that so it was nice and smooth and rounded out so that it'd fit inside the socket just great. Also he went into my pelvis and cut it in 3 places so that he could rotate my pelvis up and over that new hip bone he had created. when that was all said and done he stuck 4 screws into my pelvis and to be honest it seriously looks like as if someone just got a nail gun and shot 4 screws into me. ha. they are just placed so random! 

RECOVERY:

I was placed in the hospital for four days after surgery and wow the first night i was in the hospital it was the worst night of my entire life. they had put and epidural in me before surgery to help with the numbness but where the anesthesiologist place the epidural all the medication was going into my left leg (known as my good leg). But the problem was that there was so much medication that was being pumped into that left leg it ended up being so numb i could not feel my leg whatsoever and i then started freaking out. So at 3:15 about in the morning i called my nurse (brad) to tell him the problem he kept saying you're fine it is part of the medication. Later i called him again and said i really don't think this is normal. He goes on to touching my leg and asked can you feel me touching your leg at all? My reply was no. Well him and another nurse decided to try to stand me up and get me to walk? really? are you stupid? Of course they were because i just fell. 

The rest of my stay at the hospital was really good i was not sick and things were great. The day i got to come home was friday. My dad was on his way to pick me up and just his luck he got in a car wreck. Stupid drivers just don't know how to drive and damaged my dads new audi. So he was like an hour late. 

Since being home everything has been going so smooth and great. I have been feeling really good and have been walking really well with my walker and crutches. Nothing has been wrong nor have i had to worry about anything. I went to the doctor on monday and they said that everything was looking great and that i have been recovering extremely fast and that they had never seen someone heal so fast and good. I think its just because i am so young, they usually do this operation on old people so of course its going to be a longer recovery. Anyways they said to come back in 4 weeks for an x ray and see how the bones have healed and i may be able to put full weight back on my leg and be able to walk and start building that muscle back to make it strong and back to normal!! 

I wanna thank all my friends and family for all their support and love through this and i could not have done this without them! i have the best people in my life that i could not as for any others to be in it! i love each and every one of you guys and really do appreciate what you have done. whether it has just been a phone call to a visit or sending me flowers or even bringing me dinner!! thanks!!

goals:

• start a hobby
• look into taking online college classes
• get back on my feet asap and get back into being able to work
• start going to the gym not just to rebuild the hip but to get back into shape for summer
• make something of myself so that i am proud of accomplishments and others notice it
• stay positive all day everyday. don't let anything get me down.
• SMILE! :)) 

game day. game night.

So yesterday a friend of mine came down from Provo to hangout and watch the BYU game we played University of New Mexico. Well to even start off the night i could not find the channel of the game, i literally search through my channels for at least a good half hour. So as my friend is driving down i am texting him explaining to him how i could not find the game. He kept saying calm down Shanie its on this channel, so as he is telling me i am going through searching for the channel and as i find it i was like uhhh no you are wrong it says this game is on. Well him and his basketball smartness he continued to say it was that channel it just was not showing it yet. Yup he was right... haha. Well we watched the game and jimmer threw down 52 points. He is so unreal it is a tad ridiculous!

After the game we sat down and decided to play some ticket to ride and of course i lost.... whats new with that though i tend to always lose at that game. Oh well, i still enjoy playing the game.

Today was the championship game for BYU and today they played SDSU. All i have to say about that game is WOOOOOOOW. They for sure were not on their A game because they got demolished! It was just a pathetic game to even watch. Jimmer did his best i mean he can't always pull a win for his team. His team shouldn't always count on him either! Collinsworth was exactly what his name says! WORTHLESS! anywho maybe they will get it next year.... who knows! Hopefully they can go farther in march madness!

Once again after the game we played a few games of ticket to ride.... oh and once again i lost! But that is ok i have decided to not even try i just now play and do whatever i want just go ahead and lay my trains down where ever and just try and make the longest train. haha. Later on we had me, matt, jordan, and kim now playing. jordan and matt ended up being the winners the round we played. After ticket to ride we started playing phase ten. I started out winning i was ahead of everyone well i got to the phase of having to do 2 sets of 4. WOW it was ridiculous i ended up stuck on that stupid freaking phase at least 9 rounds if not more. i ended up in last place! ugh. But all in all the night was great!

blessings.

Psalms 121: 7-8

"The lord will keep you from harm-- he will watch over your life;

the lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore"

You can receive blessings in many ways:

• receiving a fathers, bishop or priesthood blessing
• serving others
• patriarchal blessing
• Choosing The Right
• and more..

Now don't get me wrong but i have not been very active these last couple years and i have recently started back up at going every sunday to church. But i have never felt so much comfort and joy in my life since i have been back. It is crazy how you can see your life change so much just by knowing that you are in the right place and being where you should be. I may not know much about the gospel, but one thing i do know is that i have been receiving so many blessings in my life just by the acts of kindness i have done, by returning back to church, by the choices i make and so on and so forth. 

I had the chance to receive a blessing from my bishop today as i am preparing to go in for a serious surgery and the comfort i felt as they had their hands laid upon my head and the words that the bishop had to say, i knew right there that those were direct words from our savior and that everything was going to be ok. This is just me wanting to share with you guys that i know that our lord and savior are here to helps us on this earth and to receive these blessings is what is going to get us back to thee to live with him once more! I have felt such comfort today that it has put the brightest smile up on my face and has made me feel of the gospel and has taught me. 

"not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them

is the true measure of how we give thanks."

I feel so blessed to be a member of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints and know that if i follow what the lord has in store for me i will receive many more blessings to come! I am so grateful for my family and my friends who have all helped to to get back onto the right path and to hold on firmly to the iron rod and to never let go so that i may get back to heavenly father, jesus christ, and my loved ones who have past on before me!!

blonde moment.

well as many of you know i may not be the brightest... or smartest.... or whatever else you may think of me  haha. But, the one thing everyone knows for sure is that i have many dumb blonde moments.

   So i just thought i would share this one with you guys!! today my dad and i were listenig to the stereo and it was talking about low book sales.. Well i turn to my father and i said dad, why would someone seriously get a freaking commercial for books??? Many stores sales books for pretty cheap so why would someone go just to this store to get books? unless they are like on SUPER SALE, which i doubt they are!

   Of course my dad just started busting up laughing and looked at me and said "are you being serious shantel marie??" well uhhh should i not be?? That is then when he proceeded to tell me that low books sales is a car company.

  Ok so my next question that i ask is... Why in the heck would a company selling cars be called low "BOOK" sales? I don't understand it? But apparently its quite hilarious that i had no idea that it was a car company which in my mind i think i have a legit reason as to why i would think it was a book store! :))  

this is what i had in mind                                                                     

but really this is what it is!

As for the rest of my day i mostly sat around the house being quite lazy!! But i did go and see my bishop tonight and let me just tell you.. It is so extremely crazy how amazing and happy you can feel after leaving that room and feeling the spirit you have there with you! Not only that but i have an amazing bishop who really knows how to talk with young adults and really help them out! I just wanna thank him from the bottom of my heart for always being there and willing to listen to me and to support and help me in my life!!

Today has just been a really great day and all i can think about is how thankful i am for the people in my life especially my family and friends, they mean the world to me and i think the world of them! I am for sure blessed and i could not ask for anything else!!

a special letter!!

Wow i think it is amazing how sometimes it seems that someone really knows when you are down and they can make your day so much better just like that!!! If you are wondering what i am talking about i have not had the best week but today i received a letter in the mail today that totally turned my frown into a smile very very quick!! :)))

I received a letter from the amazing ELDER BRANDLEY he just seems the always put a smile on my face! The best thing is, he knows me inside and out and i swear he knows when something is wrong and to always write me. Let me inform you guys on the history of him and i... its been a while:
    It started out the beginning of our senior year.. Ever remember going into class that first day of school and you are pacing and standing in the back of the room searching for someone you know so you can go sit next to them because you don't wanna look stupid just sitting there by yourself? Well that was me, i stood back there searching and searching, but sadly i knew absolutely no one. The only person i see is this really cute guy who had on his lettersmen jacket showing that he played basketball. Just the sports i love watching guys play.
   Of course though me being like all other girls i refuse to talk to the guy first they have to approach me first to get my attention... 3 days later he ends up coming and sitting next to me and starts talking to me. We instantly connected and he then asked me for my number. We would sit and text all day and night, we could just not get enough of one another. Finally one night we were texting and he asked me if he could come over and hangout so i said sure that'd be fun. We came  down to my basement and started playing the game hoops, of course i won i mean whats new? hahaha.
  We ended up getting together shortly after meeting one another. He is the one guy that i have ever loved so much that i just could not live without this kid whether it is just friends or us being eternal companions. He is the sweetest, kindest and most caring guy i have ever met! When i was sick he was there for me, no matter what he was doing he'd drop it to come be with me, but not only that he always had flowers, ice cream or some sort of gift for me to show how much he really cared about me. Oh and not to mention he is the only guy that my family absolutely wants me to marry... will that happen? guess we will find out! Anyways in this letter today he pretty much just expressed himself to me and had said he had a feeling he really needed to write me and let me know! Kinda crazy when you get those big feelings that you need to do something. Heavenly Father really is there for you in some sort of way  because for me it was a letter from jordan michael brandley to really help me out and to keep me going through my day to day :).

 167 days left 

today for sure has been a great day, though some is not as planned for tonight but i will make it a good night!!! :)))

hardships.

Ever had something you had to do but really did not want to?? Though you know it is the best thing to do? well yup i just had to feel and do that today!! Was it easy? NOPE not one bit! But all i can think about is this is the right thing to do this is what is going to be best. Through the tears that i shed i know deep down that one day the happiness will come out!!

"even during the worst hardships, when all other things seem to fall

apart in our lives, we can still find peace and eternal love

in god!"

All I can do for myself is smile and be as happy as i can be and to know that everything will fall into place the way it is suppose to be. Everything that happens, happens for a reason and that is the one quote that runs through my head over and over again!! So for me i know everything will be ok! I got my heavenly father, my mom, and myself to tell me everything is fine and is the right thing!! Just didn't know something like this would hurt me so bad, and to tear up so much! wow. 

Although i really can't let something like this be on my mind right before surgery i gotta focus on me and my life and my health and having this surgery coming so soon, i need to worry about ME, MYSELF!!! not someone else.. wow this will be tough. Just know shanie... 

ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!

can it get any worse? yes!

Hey friends! thought i would update you all on this whole stupid surgery shiz i got going on! As we all know i am having to get hip surgery March 1st of this year. Well lets just say i knew the basics of the surgery like the having to stay in the hospital, being in a wheelchair, crutches etc... Oh boy was i wrong there is soooo much more!

Today i had to go to a hip class! like really a hip class? am i back in school or something? i had a packet that i had to fill out and had to be lectured for an hour and a half.. oh did i mention that every person in that class was OLD besides me?? yeah i felt pretty stupid for having to get something 60 year old's get! bahaha.  I do have to admit though old people are freaking hilarious they were for sure cracking me up while sitting in class!! there was an elderly woman who was sitting there the entire time asking a crap load of questions that had already been talked about like 5 times, but what makes it funnier for me is before i had even gone into the class i was texting my friend Kory and was just explaining to him i had a feeling some elderly person would be repeating things over and over and over! well i was right! haha.

Well anyways we had a booklet that we had to look through along with things that we have to get for after our surgery! let me just show you some of the things! you will just die of laughter at these crazy technologies that people have come up with:

this would be called a toilet riser! i have to use this cause i cannot go that low to sit on the potty! haha

we call this a sock donner! this is how i have to put on socks and i have one just like that to put my pants on as well!!! 

well if you didn't know what this is called your dumb first off.. its a grabber! this is how i will pick up anything i need or want! i will not be able to bend i have to stay 90 degree angle!

well of course this is my mobility and these are how i will be getting around for the next 8 months to a year!!

also i will be getting a new bed! i have to have a bed that is level with my waist if not shorter so i will be able to get in and out of the bed at a 90 degree angle, and all i will be wearing for these next few months is sweats and baggy t-shirts! how sweet is that? not having to get ready! wahooo ha. 

SO as you can tell... i am pretty much going to be handicap and will not be able to do much or have any mobility! haha But seriously like if you just look at some of these pictures i cannot help but to just laugh!! Especially the toilet seat one! bahahaahahaha. YOU are all going to be jealous i know and understand!!! so you people best come visit me! i will need it! :))))

valentines day.

shouldn't you love your spouse all the time?? so why have one day all for the love of one another??? i don't get it....










stupidest holiday ever!!!! 




that'll be all! :)) have a great day!

interesting facts.

So tonight my brother and sister in law showed up at my place to hangout with me. Which was way freaking nice of them because i have been sitting home alone since wednesday and i am that kind of girl that cannot STAND to be alone. So having company was really nice! No one else seems to care to come around which is kinda sad but whatever who cares about them.
Well we sat and watched the BYU basketball game and wow.... though we won what was up with jimmer today? only having like maybe 15 points if lucky reaching that when usually he is up somewhere in the 40 point range? Man that was not to good. All that matters is the fact that we just got another W on the charts! :). After that game we ended up watching like two other NBA basketball games. Do not remember what teams but ya know i just never really care about any other teams but my jazz baby! Then we got to the point where we got pretty bored so we got out the phase ten cards and thought we would hurry and play a quick game.. I am super duper ooooper pissed because i was in the lead the entire time then i reached the stupid 2 sets of 4 and got stuck on that one forever!! so of course Kim and Jordan came back and pass me! how ridiculous right? totally!! Jordan ended up winning. booooo.
Any how we some how got onto the subject of spirits and my brother was telling me how he knew this kid who was studying the whole paranormal kind of stuff and was telling my brother that 90% of the time you feel like someone is by you or touching you there really is someone there!! i thought that was SO crazy but at the same time really neat! Also he said that usually if someone has passed away in the house you are living in or a family member has passed before us they will return to the house and protect the house pretty much! Well for my family that is the case for us!! My brother has had a few crazy cool experiences where he has seen a full body figure spirit, but when we tried to follow it or look at it, it would hide. Why would my mom want to hide from us? can we not see her or something? is that like a rule god made? Anyways i just thought some of those facts were really interesting and way cool! Oh and the best fact is that when you are looking in the mirror and you feel like someone is behind you there usually is someone behind you and if heavenly father really thinks its necessary that you need to see them that you will be able to catch a glimps of them in the mirror! SO PLEASE HEAVENLY FATHER LET ME SEE MY MOM!! that would be the most amazing thing ever!!
Well bloggers that was my excitement of the weekend and hopefully this comforts you more than it does scare you! I was actually really scared and weirded out when i first heard all of that but the more i come to think of it, it is so comforting to know that my mom is here all the time watching over us and protecting us. Most of all maybe she smacks jessica and beats her up whenever she stays the night here! GO MOM!! :))) hahaha.

well goodnight bloggers!

my weekend.

Well once again i am on here after like a month trying to catch you guys up on the events going on in my life. I have decided that i really really suck at staying caught up on this whole blogging thing, but maybe its because a lot of times i just have nothing to blog about because i don't really do much. ha ha. but.... this weekend was eventful and its totally something to blog about. so....
FRIDAY: i actually went out with some friends and we hung out and just chit chatted and caught up on a lot of things. Its probably one of the best things to be able to sit and talk with some of your best friends and get everything that you have been holding back that just needed to come off the chest out of your system. so thanks girls for the great night and the fun talk!!!
SATURDAY: i actually had to work from 11-7 on saturday but nothing new with that, that is the normal working time for me on saturday's. But this saturday was a bit different because there is so much drama and tension going on at work that it was very awkward being there. There are two girls who are best friends that are now not so much friends and don't talk and there is a girl who talks soooo much crap about all the girls and of course we all find out about what she had said about us so she felt stupid and text us all apologizing. Did we all accept it? no we didn't because we all know she'll do it again. I am so glad i am done after this coming saturday. I love my job but wow that drama is so ridiculous, but i guess i should of known that is what it would be like working with so many girls right?? Anyways it was an eventful day at work that is for sure. haha.
Well after work i was suppose to go out with my friend Brent and a couple other friends but i ended up canceling because my hip and lower back were absolutely KILLING me so i just came home and got into my sweats and got my pillow and blanket and watched a movie called "takers" with my dad and his girlfriend jessica. That was actually an extremely good movie i would like to watch that one again.
SUNDAY: I drove down to provo to go watch the super bowl with Kory at his buddy Calvin's place. Well when i reached Kory's place he had the "surprise" waiting for me, if all of you did not know i absolutely HATE surprises i do not do good with them, but everything i asked him what it was he would not tell me. what a butt right? yes!! haha. So i was really excited to open it!!! He kept dragging on and on about talkin and would not let me open it. Finally i got to open it and it was a betty boop bag and t-shirt that i absolutely LOVED and he is seriously amazing!!!! Most guys usually would not remember something like that but he sure did. I had totally forgot about even telling him that. here is a picture of the bag.
Well we went over to calvin's about an hour or so early and right when we get there what does Kory do??? He goes and starts playing black ops with his buddy Caleb. Oh goodness.... boys and their video games. Finally the game was about to start so everyone started showing up and wow there was so many people there it was crazy. Watching Kory was probably the funniest thing ever because if packers had a good pass or throw or anything its like he is jumping for joy and one little thing that was to go wrong instantly he is pissed off. His emotions were up and down the entire game. hahaha. So i am very happy they won because to be honest i don't think i would of wanted to stay the night if they had lost!!! :/ scary sight.
That night we watched forever strong.... Well i should say he did. He was not liking the fact that he was watching it with me so i went into the room and tried to fall asleep, but could not then i had received a phone call from a friend of mine so i ended up talking with her for a while. All in all my weekend was pretty great!! :))))


ps. i totally have a thing for sean faris!!!!!!! mmmm :))

crazy thought.

So its crazy how you realize some things... for example: usually i have to charge my phone every night because i text people all day everyday that it just wastes my battery! but... now here is the crazy thing, it is not a bunch of people i text its just ONE person that i text so much that it wastes my battery. haha. The reason i have realized that is because he is out of town right now, he is over traveling in europe for two weeks and so we don't get to text or talk and guess what??? i have gone 3 days with the same battery!

Do you think i rather go 3 days with one battery though or go all day everyday texting? Well if you know me well enough i am totally gonna choose the texting. I absolutely enjoy and love texting him and when i don't well it sucks!!! just like it does right now i just sit and miss him haha. lame of me i know, but oh well what can you do?

Well that is my crazy thought of the day. haha :)))

late night drives..... to provo*

So last night i drove down to provo to hangout with a friend Kory, he was leaving for london and like 6 other places today so we thought it would be fun to hangout before he left. Everyone has to know that me and driving at night do not work out together very well.. i tend to fall asleep at the wheel very easily, but luckily i did just fine! I was going 90 mph driving down.... that could be bad if something were to happen though!

Well when i got there i actually meet Kory at his brother and sister-in-laws because i told his brother i would give him a haircut. To be honest i am so proud of myself for remembering how to even get to their place all on my own! yeah impressive i know!! :) Well i reached their house before Kory so i just went down and hung out with his brother and his wife till Kory got there! They are so funny i absolutely love hanging out and talking with them. We finally left there about 12:30ish?? But when we got back to his place we did not even get like any sleep... We drove around for no joke like 20 minutes trying to find a place to even park my car, it was a total nightmare there and finding a spot!! (p.s. if you ever go there remember to get there EXTREMELY EARLY. haha. )

We finally just parked in the garage. That is normally mikey's spot but apparently Kory didn't care to much and just parked my car there anyways.. sorry mikey!!! We go down to Kory's domain and we got ready for bed, but of course it always seems to happen you seem soooo tired until you hit the bed and you somehow end up wide a wake and cannot sleep whatsoever! does that ever happen to you?
 Well of course just my luck... it happened to me, but i really needed the sleep we had to get up early so that Kory and Mikey could get everything together and double check that they had everything and on top of that we had errands to run.

so if you guys didn't know this i will now tell you so you do know...... Kory is the scariest driver ever! always speeding and just crazy so i made him drive this morning to run the errands and to the airport so that i knew we would make it there on time..... BAD idea! i think i may have tinkled my pants with his driving! The thing that matters most is that they got their on time and are now on their way to LONDON! I am quite jealous but hopefully they have a great time and stay safe! :))

girls day!!!! 1/18/11

Don't you just love girls days with your mom???? I know i do! :)) thought she may not be here with me physically i know in my heart she is with me and i know that when i talk to her she is there listening! I have been really pondering and thinking so much lately.. just one of those days when all you do is sit around the house and can't help but to think. Well i really got to thinking how could someone really ask you to just forget about a loved one as if they were never there?

I get that they are not here on this earth anymore but as for me it of course is my mother i am talking about, the lady who birthed me, who gave me everything i ever wanted to just make sure i was happy!!! Never did she care about herself! It was always about us kids, her most valuable treasures. And in return we are suppose to just forget her and move on? i think not! That woman was my rock and i had the most amazing day with her! i took my puppies titleist and jasmine over to meet mommy for the first time, and i let them just run around while i sat and had a nice conversation with mom! Though she cannot reply back i always feel so much better after i talk to her! She really is the best listener ever!!

I  sat and talked to her about all my problems with everything in my life that has been going on! Also i put up some new flowers i put in some valentine one's! :)) she is totally gonna be my valentine beings i don't have an actual valentine! oh well..... one day! huh mom!?!? :)) (if you was wondering her and i talked about me finding that one true love and being happy!) she just wants the best for me!!! thanks mom! After hanging out with mom i went out with my friend kersten and we just sat at her place and took silly pictures. Typical girls right? always gotta be taken some pictures of us. haha. She is an amazing friend and i couldn't thank her enough for her friendship and always being there for me. We can tell one another anything and be fully honest with one another and know that even if it hurts its for the best! :))) love you girl!!!

Other than that my day was great! just trying to be happy and enjoy my life day to day and see what new adventures may come my way, or even what trials may come my way. Whatever it is that comes my way i am ready to face it and have a smile on my face!!

1/6/11-1/17/11

jan 7-8th- wow.... i really suck at keeping up on my blog! i say i will get better but i don't seem to get better whatsoever!! haha. Anyways there really has not been much going on in my life just the usual work, sit home, and hangout! the weekend of the 7th and eight i really did not do much i went up to provo and hungout with a friend and what not!
Jan 11th i had my first church ball game and i had an old friend text me asking me out on a date, told him that i had a game so he offered to take me to dinner before my game and then come watch my game! He is such a doll and our dinner date was really fun!! we went to applebees and just sat and chit chatted!! my game i did bomb! i scored 16 points!! He was super shocked at my basketball skills! haha.
Jan 12th-15th was a SUPER BUSY week! i had work everyday and i never usually do so i got slammed there but it was great to get some mulahhhhhh :) everyone has got to love the money right??? but i think the highlights of my work week were i had a 10 year old boy, bless his heart!! he has been dealing with brain tumors and cancer and had all these scars on his head and neck from surgeries :( but wow to see the smile on his face and know that he fights for his life just makes me feel so blessed and i hope he fights till its gone! Anyways i was cutting his hair and he says: excuse me could you stop for a second! so i replied and said yeah are you ok??? and his reply was yes i am fine but i need to fart and lift my leg and did not want to risk getting cut! HAHAHAHAHA so cute!
The other experience i had was on saturday this guy comes in so as a stylist you have to make small talk with them while cutting their hair. well i simply asked him if he had any fun plans for the night he had said no. i said why not? its a saturday you gotta do something. he replied saying yeah i am gonna go get drunk my girlfriend and i got in a fight and she threw at me that i was gonna be a dad!!! poor man! im sure he'll be a great daddy though!!! After work i went out with my girl kersten and some of her girlfriends! we hit up a party out in the sugar house.... totally not fun! guess i am just done with partyin i cleaned up my act and not into any of that anymore! well, the cops showed up and so i decided to go out and start a convo with them haha they were more fun than the party! sad.. FINALLY colton called kersten and we darted over to his friend jason's house and hung out with colton and his friends! we played kinect on the xbox! love that game so freaking fun!!! Though the night for kerst didn't end to well i love her to death and she is my best friend!! i'll be there for her at any time!!! :)))) forever and always!
Jan 16th- I went to church and i had kersten and her sister come along with my friends and i. They are thinking about coming to my ward and getting their records transfered! :) that would be simply amazing! In sacrament we were sooooo disrespectful and rude and i feel so bad about it now! We sat next to tyson and he and Steve started texting back and forth and it was bad! but of course we laughed and talked the entire sacrament!! :((( i feel horrible now! Well after sacrament i talked to my bishop for a bit and set up an appointment to go talk with him and get things figured out and talked about. :))) i cannot wait to go in and talk to him and feel good about myself!
today- i sat home all day!!!!!!!! and LOVED every minute of it! i have not felt so hot today so i just sat in bed and then sat in the shower for two hours just soaking up the hot water! nothing better than that!! :)) also talked to my cousin and set up a double date with one of my best friends and his best friends! wooo i am quite excited about! should be pretty fun! or lets hope! ha. Also i talked to my friend about him moving and i am gonna head up to see his new place. Guess we'll see how good the place is...

hardest day of the year. 1/5/07

Today the most important lady in my life passed away due to a cancerous brain tumor. She fought this cancer for almost a year and she is my hero, my inspiration, my world, most of all she was MY MOM! I don't even know how to explain my feelings about all of this! But i do know that i am so proud of her and miss her dearly! I know she did not want to leave her family because we meant the world to her.

It all started when one day mom and i were driving to an orthodontist appointment and she ran a stop sign. I look at her and say "mom you just ran that stop sign." her reply was: "no i didn't shan, if i saw it i would stop." so i just ignored it and let it go. Well we come up to another stop sign and once again she runs it. So i turn to my mom again and say the same thing! We come home and i go to my father and tell him, right then he was worried and took her to the doctor and of course like every time you go to the doctor he says: she is fine i see nothing wrong. Well as time went on her eye sight was getting worse and worse so daddy takes her to the eye doctor to find that she has a tumor on the brain. It was something no one wants to hear about a loved one! My father calls a specialist and gets my mom into the doctor to get an mri and all that fun stuff. We found out that mom had a cancerous brain tumor that was a level 5 and is on her brain stem. So my dad had to make the biggest decision of his life! Do we cut out the tumor and make mom live as a vegetable the rest of her life? or do we do chemo and radiation to see if it reduces the tumor and keep her around for a bit longer? Well we decided the best thing is to do chemo and radiation! We did not want mom to have to go through life with not being able to do nothing but just sit in a wheel chair or in bed all day every day not able to talk or anything. That is not a life to live! Well mom started chemo and she was in the hospital most of the time so we spent alot of time in the hospital as well. But i tell you what she fought and she fought HARD! The one thing she wanted to do was go back to work and earn money so her family would be safe! That is the best mom i could ever think of! It was so hard for me as a daughter to watch my best friend and mom to go through this and to see her struggle so much! Also it was so hard for me to know that my mother didn't know who i was. Her one and only daughter and she couldn't remember my name but i knew deep down she really knew who i was. Anytime i was there the one thing she would ask me was if i would do her hair to make her beautiful. My response was "you are always beautiful mom!"

 Our last christmas with mom was the most wonderful and amazing christmas EVER! to be able to spend it with her was a blessing for me! We had our ward come to our front windows and they sang carols to my mom as she sat in the room staring out the window sitting in her wheel chair teary eye, wow it was the most touching moment i had ever experienced!!! If you have ever seen the show the christmas shoes, there is a part in there at the end where they sing carols and when i watch that show it just brings back that memory to me and its such a comforting feeling!!!

 January 5th, 2007 comes and i am sitting in seminary waiting for class to start when i get a call from my dad saying "you need to come home, mom is fading fast!!" i instantly started bawling. What would you do if you got a call and its your dad saying your mom is dying and fast??? Its not something you want to hear! So i rush home to my family and we were all gathered in my parents room we did a family prayer and spent our last couple minutes with our mother, when all the sudden she pointed to the ceiling and says: " there is heavenly father and my mom, they want me to go with them!!" we all started bawling and just were not ready for this to happen but knew it had to we could not let her sit and suffer any longer!! What kind of family would we be?? My dad says "honey you can leave us now, we will be ok don't you worry about us!" Mom took one last breath and was gone! i know that god has a plan for all of us and we agreed to this before coming to this earth and i know she walks in heaven with him as we speak and that she is watching over me! i just want her to know that i am so grateful for her love and support she has for me and that i hope i am that daughter that makes her so proud and i know i mess up and i just hope she can forgive me and know that i still love her and want to be the best that i can be to be with her again someday!!! you are in my thoughts every day mom! there is not one day that goes by that i don't think about you!!! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND ALWAYS WILL!!

"the best way to have heaven in your home,

is to have someone you love in heaven!!"

R.I.P. 1/5/2007

thanks to all those who have supported me today and have treated me so amazingly its always the hardest day to sit and think of the loved one you have lost! Today i got the prettiest flowers from the most amazing guy and it really made my day and thank him sincerely cause they are extremely beautiful and i absolutely love them!!! i sure am lucky to have the people in my life that i do!!!

wow time seems to fly by. so lets catch up!

christmas: christmas was really interesting i have to say! christmas is family time and the time you want to be with your family sharing this wonderful birth of our savior. Well my dad asked us kids one thing and only one thing for christmas dinner and that was to interact with his girlfriends family and to make them feel welcomed and to try and be one big family because they are planning on getting married! So we of course want him happy and did exactly that. It is not ok though that her family does not do the same and actually its not ok to kick my family downstairs and leave us out of activities and not talk to us... really? no i do not think so. Christmas was really hard this year and it was really hard for me to try and be happy for it because i really was not. We felt left out and that they could care less about us and us being there with them! there is something wrong with that picture.. is there not? but anyways its over with now and just gotta look forward to next christmas and hope that it can be better!!! :) well the next day i was suppose to head out to virginia to be with kory and his family but my flight was cancelled so i had to wait for the next day to fly out! seemed like a week but don't worry i got there!! :) haha.

new years: BEST NEW YEARS EVER!!! i got to spend new years in virginia with one of the coolest families ever and with the best guy! It was also one of the best vacations i went on to go out there! We did not do to much, and that is ok cause i still had the time of my life! haha funny i write that, the song i am listening to just said those exact words!.. Anyways we mostly sat at the house playing games, watching movies and watching the boys play call of duty.  I have to admit it is pretty darn funny to watch them boys play that game, they get soooooooo upset and angry with that game so all i can do is just giggle! well thursday was the day we went out! Kourtney, Kory's sister was getting her endowments taken out so the whole family got to go and experience that with her! as for Kameron, Korinne, and I we were not able to go into the temple so we went to maryland with Kory's brother in law Dallas and walked around and got some food it was really cool to go there though it was not for long but i now can say i have been to Maryland right??? :) here is a pic of an ice rink in the middle of some shopping areas. 

The night of new years... We all sat around playing games and watching movies waiting for midnight to roll around. As it came upon midnight we all gathered around in the kitchen and drank some juice that his mom and dad hand made and it was simply amazing!!! then of course we started counting down and finally it was 2011 WOOOOOOOOHOOOOO! new year, new goals, and new beginning to make it better and to find new adventures! Kory and i went and sat on the couch and then got our kiss in! :) it was a great night i could not have asked for any better new years!!

last day in virginia: it was saturday and i wanted to go to a park and get pictures so kory and i drove around and he had no idea where a park was so instead we just went to the play grounds at the elementary school, that can count as a park right??? i think yes. :) haha. but it was such a fun time, it totally took me back to the good old days of elementary and the fun things we use to do on the play ground. like tie a jacket around your waist and spin around the bars!! hahaha great times. then kissing kory on the slide. haha kinda like how you use to play kissing tag on the toys? anyone else do that? or just me?? hmmm... haha well he is my favorite picture!!

ok so saturday was not our last day but it was our last day to go out and do things because sunday is the sabbath and we don't do anything but lounge around, eat and just be lazy! Oh and go to church! I had one of the best lessons ever in relief society the teacher was soooo funny and enthusiastic! If that was how it was every sunday for me i would freaking love going! :):). well monday came around and it was time to go home, Kory left really early in the morning about 4 am. I did not leave till about 1 pm, so him and i said our see you laters sunday night! because we didn't have to say good-bye because we will see one another here! haha. but any ways monday was the worst day ever! I got to the air port about noon flew to Cincinnati Ohio and i had a layover for 4 hours. it was the longest time of my life and went by extremely slow! About 7 rolls around and i finally got to board the plane and didn't get to salt lake city till almost 9:30 or ten! ugh. It was so nice to finally get home and get into bed! But all together my new years and my vacation was the most amazing and fun experience ever and i had a blast meeting Kory's family and to be able to hangout with all of them!!!